I have a similar situation going on, but with a twist. A goodman would not want to interfere in a mother/daughter relationship. Just deal with it. Not an abuser: I am concerned about my friend Dean. In college, he was in a volatile relationship with Maura. Maura was very emotionally abusive to him and would constantly needle him about things like his job, friends, etc. I confronted him and he apologized, and said it wouldnt happen again. Just my opinion. Created a new life with friends. Oh and once you understand the dynamics of it all which can take several years to process that is the part where you do learn to accept and move on. Guilty secret: I know a secret I wish I didnt. Get the stick out of your behind and be a better person and go hang out with your family and stop playing victim. We got there as soon as we could, about an hour after they did, and they all left about 25 minutes after we arrived. : My husband has been texting his ex-wife rather extensively for some time and he has been hiding it from me. A: Yep, even though Im a person who finds clothes cozy and likes wearing them at home, I totally think the people who are scandalized by nudity are the ones with the issue. He wanted to maintain his relationship with my family but I clearly told him and my family no. If they dont respect your feelings at least you will know where you stand with them. This hurts like hell:(. My exs personality disorder really spun me for a loop so I saw a therapist and covering this with the therapist they indicated it really shouldnt be a problem if the family thinks I am good and invites me and I think the same of them and accept then so be it its their choice, its my choice. why do you get so grouchy at him. He might work hard for what he has but that suggests you value material and financial effort more than other factors. You sound like you was in an abusive relationship. Its unacceptable & weird coming from your family & your Ex & girlfriend . That is very hurtful. You are not alone, Stephanie. I think it is unreasonable to expect everyone in your family to discontinue all the relationships they have forged with your ex over (probably) years. Really? It sounds like to me that she needs to have a hart to hart with her family and express her thoughts and feelings on this and work on a compromise with with her ex and her family. My in-laws also continue to have a relationship with the ex. wtf? This will help him take a look at how he . You have a very different relationship to religion than i do and i think you should re read your comments and see just how unchristian they really are. Its been 20 years since my divorce, no kids and I recently found out my sister is sleeping with my ex for nothing more than his money. I would be open to express your feelings to your family in a kind way, so it can help them to understand you being less involved. The call went on for another hour. For me, building new relationships, prayer, a trauma analyst, and a 12 step program for survivors have been irreplaceable in my journey. You are v welcome because it has taken me 3 years to really understand how toxic these kind of people are with many periods of tears and self doubt and I think that says it all. You presumably made the decision? I was honest too honest! She was cruel about it. Sounds like youre one of those people shes describing. They know theyre doing wrong. Most of all, I want you to truly accept that you are delusional. And why is he accepting the relationships to continue like this? Why cant your famiy see that you are distraught about how they handle things. The manner in which my ex choose to end our marriage was very hurtful and harmful and his anger over having to pay me alimony has caused me much distress. He never missed a chance to remind me how Ive got no one. Do I just ignore her and hope it goes away? Her hurt has now turned to hate and she wishes him dead. I guess it depends how much you love her and how complicated you want your life to potentially be. Im polite to him, but Ive kept her somewhat at arms length recently to avoid hanging out with him. On the other hand, my daughters father, who I didnt marry, is still extended family to my whole family and Im still family to his. I seek help, and a spell was done on me and my husband. I think you gradually come to the conclusion that people who can behave like that only care about themselves. Its called DIVORCE people. Sorry I know it hurts but that will change one day too. Do/did you ever spend time with them outside of hollydays. Here is a lowdown on 10 signs he misses his ex-wife or girlfriend: 1. Thanks FAMILY. No your not unreasonable! I did not see that you have talked to.your family or to him about any of this. I have lost so many family members.I just back away and turtle into my shell. But theres a way to work around that; that doesnt involve you/her kicking your/her ex out of your/there life entirely. I would open up to them and tell them how you feel and if they dont respect your feelings, you need to cut ties with them, and your ex. These abuser are master manipulators and your family isnt deserving of you. A good man, a good father. They even fed him information and made the situation worse they actually put me in physical danger. My father always has said he didnt like my ex. I think youre being selfish. A controlling, abusive one who wants to remain connected to try and continue to control and punish you by any means possible which is why I took the difficult decision to break contact. The best thing for your children is to see 2 loving parents despite circumstances. He didnt even see or contact our girls for am entire year. But hours later the police were called. My suggestion to the OP its gonna hurts even if your family stops doing things with him if he is a predator/Narc hell find another way to hurt you by inviting them or entangling with them somehow. She married too to another man, bu she still contact him 2-3 times a month after i married with him.. I was starting to think I was the only one going through this maddening circumstance. think they would ever believe there was a completely different side to him. No matter who left who the end of a marriage is painful and I can tell you from first hand experience that having your family still show affection to your ex and take sides is heartbreaking. I have a slightly similar situation my ex out of the blue asks for divorce after I had been a good faithful loving supportive wife for 8. I dont have a problem with him having a relationship with anyone in my family but I dont think I should have to be there when he does or give up my family vacation. Its your family who need to see a psychologist! She adores my brother and makes him very happy so I try to be friendly when I see her, but now that weve moved back to his hometown and she lives just a few miles away, its gotten much harder. Anyways I have never been able to rely on my mom to ever go back home. She has watched him overnight before and has asked that I allow her to take him to church with her if I cannot get him by a certain time. Do your kids, not you a favour and let it go!! So she blames me for about ten years and tells my mother that she cant be in the same room as me. It sounds like you feel really isolated and that isnt fair, he doesnt get his family AND yours. Youre too jealous and resentful to let your children have a decent relationship with their own goddamn father. If I say anything, then all future visiting will be drained by that cloud of despise. There have been times where his family has visited us, and his Ex has used the teenage son (at the time) to put her on the phone, pass the phone around and have her talk to all of the guests in OUR HOME. Personal I think youre being selfish. Those that do are weak and lack a moral conscience. I was incensed and heartbroken. After all you are their family & they should respect & honor your feelings on the matter. He attends Christmas, birthdays and special events with my family. Im so sorry you went through this and I wish you luck and peace going forward. Some people dont seem to feel the emotional bond for family that should come naturally. A talk to her and maybe both my sister and my wife would be a mature conversation, but I think my family would not agree to part ways, with these future sporadic secret meets, and theyd feel that their bond should continue on unabated. You feel that way around him because of your past. A secure and trusting romantic relationship rests upon a foundation of trust. He should only come round if you feel comfortable with it- and you dont feel comfortable. Their actions seem strangeas if they are attempting to spite you. However if your feelings are less important to your family than he is so be it. Since then she and my only sister I have left have became close like sisters and make it known on social media as well. He was working with her husband on funeral planning. Children suffer when parents decide they want to blow yo their family. This happened to me for about 6 months, I havent had children yet, but my ex grown close to my family after five years of dating which is understandable. God forbid someone besides you has a happy ending right? We were separated and my ex stayed with my brother, that was a terrible idea. Why? Along the way, you will vastly underestimate people due to your grandiosity. I finally got him to move in with me and he is no longer in a dark place. Good luck w ur new better happier life! And if you do, its not the best for your children. Im going to start doing that. One of my sisters does not want to have a relationship with me anymore because she says Im being totally unreasonable about my x. Its so I can be happy myself. just because you dont want to be with him does not mean he cant cant come around. But I was good. This was a year and a half ago and although nothing took place, I feel that he still allowed boundaries to be crossed. So much that you willing to cut off anyone who love him. Note that once you confirm, this action cannot be undone. Putting all the blame on her like you did was unfair. Fights in YOUR corner . What happens if there is a bbq or party and your both there expect you have a new partner now? I hear strength, courage, resilience here too. ), it's a sign that [they have] feelings . I feel very isolated. Of course, after the hangout, her X uses it to hurt my sister. None of them and the other 6 adult family members, I cant yet blame, will have anything to do with my wife and I once the disdain is out there. They manipulate , blame me for everything , tried to turn my 3 children against me but kids are smart and see right through it .As well as my counselor I see for the many many years of emotional , physical ,sexual and mental abuse . But I do know that real friends make you feel wanted, welcomed, and secure about where you stand with them, and you leave their company feeling good about yourself. I feel so frustrated that I actually Google to see if I can get a different perspective about the current situation I find myself in. Yes, our hormones are all over the place BUT you have a right to feel the way you do. But why do you want to hang out with your exs family? Turning a blind eye means theyve taken a side. What adult children need to understand through their breakup is to beat the consequences of their decisions to marry and human weaknesses( whatever caused the breakup) I agree Your family needs to set boundaries. We do all of that. My ex only appears stable because he has money but he was a deadbeat, absent father and I am not in my 50s, alone and isolated. I was not even invited to my nieces wedding! Id encourage you to go to counselingtogether if your husband is amenable, separately if he isntto figure out how, at the very least, you can develop more effective communication strategies than going through your husbands phone when hes out of the room. My familys take is that its good for the kids to see their parents be civil with each other. Sarah Argyle.Im in the SAME SITUATION. What a joke and your sister is a freaking joke ! Her family mother, brother, cousins field calls from her ex every day. I see on Facebook that they have announced their engagement and the pregnancy. And have to stress, I have never once expressed any ill feelings towards my mom/sisters involvement with the ex.

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