The following two tabs change content below. A. Instead, capture someones heart with our Valentines Day jokes for kids and adults alike. 2. Why didnt the two dogs make serious Valentines Day plans? What did the tortoise say on Valentine's Day? A: You turn me on. "Bea." 51. Ba-dum-bump! A calendar. 39 best Valentine's Day jokes, and funniest ideas for a card message Prepare to laugh. Im nuts about you. "Howard." By hair-mail! Discover the romantic cities, historic sites, and medieval castles of Bavaria with this epic 5-day tour. 13. So I was pretty upset when I didn't get one this year. Luke What do astronauts say to their sweethearts? "He thought it was the, "What did the stamp say to the envelope on Valentines Day?" Valentine's Day Jokes Featured Game Cupid Heart Enjoy our collection of Christmas jokes, riddles and one-liners. I think of you periodically. First my granny dies and now this. 1. How did the orca ask out her date to be her Valentine? Feb. 14. Boo! Weve got great chemistry! Tuesday. Whats a paper cuts favorite song on Valentines Day? As they had not been dating very long, it was a very difficult decision. "Who's there?" Need more inspiration for love-themed laughs? Jim asked his friend, Tony, whether he had bought his wife anything for Valentine's Day. Holidays and Observances in Germany in 2023 - timeanddate.com A guy walks into a Hallmark Store. 5 min read Want to know the best way to get a date for Valentine's Day? "You mean a great dill to me. Peas be my Valentine. Whats the most romantic ship? What kind of flower should you never give on Valentines Day? What did the cashew say to the almond to ask it out? A: You're one in a melon! 36. Butter. Boyfriend: Honey, on this Valentines Day, I want to tell you something Im not rich like Jack, I dont have a mansion like Russell or a Porsche like Martin. Q: Whats Cupids favorite superhero TV show? It had a slow modem. What did one puzzle piece say to the other? Frank who? Q: What did one mushroom say to the other on Valentine's Day? "Disguise is your boy friend! I must be a snowflake because I've fallen for you. Either way, youll find plenty to share with your partner or friends. What do you call an aliens Valentine? A: Its Valen-tines. Panda House: Valentine's Day. Why is getting your partner a kitten for Valentines Day a good idea? ", "What did the scientist say to her valentine?" Your name must be Autumn because I am falling for you. Erin Cavoto is the Editorial Assistant at ThePioneerWoman.com, covering food, holidays, home decor, and more. A: A Valen-tiny. If I could, I would wrap up all my love for you and put it in a gift box. One doesnt need to have a romantic partner to have fun on this special day. I repied, "That's probably why they've received flowers then.". 50 Valentine's Day Jokes 1. Who always has a date on Valentine's Day? Knock Knock It may be a day reserved for romance, but it is also the when the telephone was patented! Why should you never laugh at your significant other's choices? Why did the skeleton break up with her boyfriend before Valentines Day? You've caged my heart. Guppy love. "Because he'll dessert you. We Cant Keep Up With All the Ryan Gosling Barbie Memes But These Are Some of the Best, Actors Begin Striking in Hollywood and Twitter Is There with the Memes and Reactions, The Best Funny Memes About Threads, Metas New Social Media App, Funny Valentines Gifts Thatll Make Your Partner Laugh, 50 Adult Jokes That We Laughed At Because Were Very Mature, 25 Funny Relationship Memes to Send to Your Partner. This way, if we break up, I can use it again.". Olive who? The above list of Valentines Day jokes will make sure they laugh to their hearts desire. "Yes, it's February 14. What happens to trees on Valentine's Day? They get sappy! Why did the computer take a long time to load a love letter? upvote downvote report. Carissa gets easily excited by many things but especially so by the arts, food and unicorns (which she firmly believes exist). What did the stamp say to the Valentine's card envelope? "Olive." It was just puppy love. If it had not been for my sister, I would have chosen the ones with buttons, but she prefers short ones that are much easier to remove. Because youre Cu Te! 4. "For stealing someone's heart. 125 Amazing Riddles For Kids (With Answers) To Challenge The Brain, 70 Funny Pirate Jokes Thatll Get You Treasured Laughter, 30 Best Cow Jokes That Will Moo-ve You To Laughter, 30+ Hilarious Mushroom Jokes & Puns That Fun Guys Will Love, 50 Plant Jokes Thatll Make You Bloom With Laughter, 50 Funny Birthday Jokes That Take The Cake, 50 Funny Coffee Jokes To Perk Up Your Day With Laughter, 50 Bee Jokes Thatll Give You An Un-Bee-Lievable Buzz. 24. Valentines Day jokes can be entertaining since they frequently make fun of the holidays traditions and rituals. A: Owl be yours! Are you a loan? Melissa's father thinks a bit, then says, "No, I don't think God would get mad. "Butter." What do you call two birds in love? ", "Knock, knock." Forget-me-nuts. They're getting married in the spring! He was a real keeper. I love you a whole watt! What did the girl cat say to the boy cat on Valentines Day? 75 Best Valentine's Day Jokes - Valentine's Day Jokes for Kids and Adults What did the flame say to his buddies after he fell in love? Or even your dog if they have a sense of humor. ", "Knock, knock." A: I love bee-ing with you, honey! Q: Why is lettuce the most loving vegetable? Q: What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus? His sister purchased a pair of panties at the same time. Youve got a pizza my heart. The guy says, "Can I get 3 of those please.". Whos there? What did the scientist say to her valentine? Independence Day. Cauliflowers. Youre a real weiner! Use them at your discretion. Why did the bicycle propose to the kickstand? Show yourself some love and have a blast this Valentine's Day with adventure and style. If you were a Pokemon, Id choose you. "Whale you be mine? 3. Who never misses dates on Valentine's Day? Can we rename Valentines Day as Singles Awareness Day? I love our row-mance. asked John, eyebrows raised. He said she was always a little sketchy. Q: Why did the man have his girlfriend put in jail? Q:What did one muffin say to the other on Valentine's Day? What did the pasta say to the tomato? 21. Who's there? Everyone has a date for Valentine's Dayit's February 14! "Juno that you're the love of my life? And if other kids saw what I did and sent valentines to Osama, he'd love everyone a lot. By now Mike's curiosity had got the better of him, and so I asked the man why he was sending all those cards. What did the ghost say to his Valentines date? Make your special someone feel extra special with our marriage jokes and love jokes. Lovebirds. You make me melt. Tweethearts., 20. When is the holiday and why do we celebrate it? A physicist and biologist started dating but broke up. A: I dot my i's on you! 14. I am not scared of getting dumped on Valentines Daybecause I dont have a girlfriend. Will you marry me? Why did all the fruit ask the banana to be their Valentine? Why did the pencil lead break up with the eraser on Valentines Day? We've got you covered! What did the grizzly say to the panda? Especially on Valentine's Day when you're hustling to buy flowers, filling out cards and hoping to score reservations at your favorite restaurant. Kids and adults will fall in love with these corny (but cute) one-liners. I find you attractive. To give her a running start on their relationship. The Absolute Best Funny Movies of All Time, Weird Facts You Never Knew About Laughter, Work Cartoons to Help You Get Through the Week, Clever Wedding Jokes Perfect for Any Speech, We are no longer supporting IE (Internet Explorer), Do Not Sell or Share My Personal Information. These Valentines jokes for seniors and adults alike can help lighten the mood and liven up the special day. 21 Funniest Valentine's Day Jokes, According to Kids - Parents ", "I once fell in love with someone who only knew 4 vowels. ", "Knock, knock." Ouch!, 39. And, yes, we have Valentine's Day dad jokes too. Do you know what youd look really beautiful in this Valentines Day? Share some beautiful, touching, and sweet wishes with your daughter on Valentine's Day. Because it was purr-fect. "But why?" Pulau Ubin Guide: All You Need To Know About Visiting The Creta Class Math App For Kids Aged 3 8: 15 Really Useful Guide To Chalets in Singapore: Where To Escape The You may also enjoy these Valentines Day quotes. Man: Honey, on this Valentines Day, I want to tell you something Im not rich like Jack. What message is on a Valentines day card for cats? I was wondering why my feet got cold. 10 Awesome Romantic Ways To Propose To A Girl Of Your Dreams, 150 Deep Love Quotes To Express Your Feelings And Emotions. Do you have a date for Valentine's day? I whale always love you. Yoda one for me! Knock, knock. I dont have a Porsche like Me: "I love you." 53. 1. Why were the scientists a perfect match? 52. Q: What did the boy bear say to the girl bear on Valentines Day? Q. My heart. A treadmill. Why did the magnet hit on the refrigerator? All the single birds flew away Because they think that on Valentines Day, love is in the air! You light up my life. Anita who? His curiosity getting the better of him, he goes up to the balding man and asks him what he is doing. It had a slow modem. I just got a text from my girlfriend that said, I bought you an awesome Valentines Day gift! ", "How can you get arrested on Valentine's Day?" Can anyone recommend me a good girlfriend? Look at a calendar. He gave her a ring. Attendant says, "How romantic, Sure, We do have some.". What did the thread say to the needle? A: Be my Valenstein! "I have a crutch on you. Oxygen, carbon dioxide, and nitrogen are in the air.". Youre one in a melon. Q: Why did the banana go out with the prune? ", "What do you call a Valentine's Day gift that didn't arrive time?" Did you hear about the vampire wedding? Your little ones will love telling these funny Valentine's Day jokes to all of their classmates. And with .css-1c1h30u{-webkit-text-decoration:underline;text-decoration:underline;text-decoration-thickness:0.0625rem;text-decoration-color:inherit;text-underline-offset:0.25rem;color:#12837c;-webkit-transition:all 0.3s ease-in-out;transition:all 0.3s ease-in-out;}.css-1c1h30u:hover{color:#595959;text-decoration-color:border-link-body-hover;}Valentine's Day right around the corner, you're probably thinking of ways to surprise your loved ones with something special. 53 Best Valentine's Day Jokes and One Liners 2023 - Country Living document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Pleased to meet you. 50. Why couldnt the mineral water ever get a Valentine? What did you say about a late Valentine's Day gift? Thats right, adults and kids alike are sure to be laughing their heads off when they open their Valentines Day card to see one of these perfectly crafted jokes. 49 Funny Valentine's Day Jokes You Will Love | Beano.com Just look at. Because I cant smile without you! If you were a triangle you'd be acute one. 3. Theyre so scent-imental. They were very a-peel-ing. "Eyesore do love you a lot. He added a card and proceeded home. How do astronomers propose on Valentine's Day? Maybe you're looking for the perfect pun to caption your Galentine's Day photo of friends. I have a crutch on you. What do you call a penguin in love? To the football. Are you a parking ticket? Click here for additional information. What's the difference between love and marriage? Well-red., 6. Why do skunks love Valentines Day? Knock Knock Emma who? Did you hear about the octopuses that were in love? This year, Ive gotten my wife a Valentines Day present that will really take her breath away. What did one pig say to the other? "Why Osama Bin Laden?" "I think I'm Pauline in love with you. Q: What did one volcano say to the other? The jeweller smiled and said, "Yes, sir; how very romantic of you." Skip the store-bought greeting and show your Valentine they're worth a little extra effort by making your own card this year. Why did the mermaid break up with her boyfriend on Valentines Day? "If it's love at first bite. How did the vegetable ask for a date? What did one popsicle say to the other? "This is so row-mantic! ", "Knock knock." That's because corny jokes, as groan-worthy as they may be, can be funny. Valentines Day is almost here! What did the cookie say to the milk on Valentines Day? I'm the founder and Editor-in-Chief of Darcy: The world's first smart, funny lifestyle site for women. "Who's there?" 75 Best Valentine's Day Jokes to Get the Whole Crew Laughing With Love, Creamy Panna Cotta Is an Easy and Elegant Dessert, Your Privacy Choices: Opt Out of Sale/Targeted Ads. What do you tell a pig on February 14? Who's there? It may not be the best Valentines Day present, but at least it came from the heart. Can I interest you in a little row-mance? "Who's there?" We had a couple of drinks and she put on some soft music. (Photo: Shutterstock) By Alex Nelson. The best part is there is a printable page of jokes to slip inside your child's lunch. What Makes A Man Fall Deeply In Love With A Woman? ", "What did one sheep say to the other on February 14?" Why do you need a charcuterie board on Valentine's day? Then I remembered you knocked my socks off. 7. Who always has a date on Valentines Day? Gimme some sugar!, 16. How can we ensure that Valentines Day jokes are inclusive and respectful towards all individuals, regardless of their relationship status or sexual orientation? "Juno, who?" He stole her heart! Did you hear about the spider wedding? "Melissa, that's the most wonderful thing I've ever heard." A. Knock, knock. Eventually the post office fired me for it. The purpose of Valentines Day is to spread love. "I came home.". When do bed bugs fall in love? What do you call a happy couple who first met via Twitter? You can't help but giggle! "What gift would you like to receive during the St. Valentine's Day?" Q:What did one watermelon say to the other on Valentine's Day? "Do you want to hang out on Valentine's Day and eat small, Middle Eastern fruits?" "It's a date." Tony smiled as he replied, "So do I, and hopefully the vacuum cleaner will work better now. What is the difference between a girl who is sick of her boyfriend and a sailor who falls into the ocean? You tank Im cute and funny enough to be your Valentine? "Who's there?" Im nuts about you.. Couples on Valentines Day: Love is in the air. Me: No. Give me some sugar. Because youve got fine written all over you. What do online dating and online shopping have in common? What did the tortoise say on Valentine's Day? Q: What did the rabbit say to his girlfriend on Valentines Day? "You light my world up. A: I find you very attractive. What did the strawberry say to the raspberry? I'm nuts about you! Remembrance Day for the Victims of National Socialism. Here, we have listed some funny Valentines Day jokes that will crack you up and get the ball of fun rolling. Why is loving you like an old pair of dentures? Read these funny valentine's day Humor for a heartly laugh. Which was weird because I thought shed be upset that I have go to work on Valentines Day. A: Words cannot espresso what you mean to me.. What did one hotdog say to the other? Her father's heart swells and he looks at his daughter with pride. Since Valentines Day jokes focus on the ups and downs of relationships, the pressure to find the ideal present, and the general cheesiness of the holiday, many of the jokes are relevant. "I love bee-ing with you, honey! Franco-German Day. Thanks for being the pee in my pants. The Best Valentine's Day Jokes Why did the coffee date with his creamer? This Heart-Breaking Pun. "Since Valentine's Day is a Christian saint and we're Jewish," she asks, "will God get mad at me for giving someone a valentine?" Youre my butter half. Youre purr-fect!. Roses are red, Violets are blue, Vodka costs less, Than a dinner for two. A. "Honeydew, who?" Read valentines day chocolate jokes no one knows ( to tell your friends) that will make you laugh out loud. I love Valentines Day. Q: What happens when you fall in love with a french chef? Love, Cuddle Bear Q: What did the rabbit say to his girlfriend on Valentines Day? Your little one will think they're the best jokes. What did one volcano say to the other? With a ring. Fur. Where did the piece of wood meet its Valentine? 3. They went about arm in arm in arm in arm! Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends! Bee mine., 17. A: No, they had an apple! Thats common sense leaving your body. "Sherwood who?" You mean a great dill to me. Accompanied by his sister, he went to the store and bought the gloves. What did the French chef make his wife for Valentines Day breakfast? If you are in the mood to laugh, play the video below and have some fun with these hilarious Valentines Day jokes! After careful consideration, he decided a good gift would be a pair of gloves. One morning Emma woke up with a start. 9. So, set up some games and share this list of perfectly crafted Valentines jokes with your loved ones to make this day extra special. You've caged my heart. 1 and 2 fell in love. Funerals usually take place on Saturday and Sunday. She has also done a certificate Certified Emotional Intelligence Practitioner, Relationships, Beauty & Lifestyle, Health & Wellness. Tank. Yes, February the 14 th. Knock, knockWhos there? Why shouldn't you fall in love with a pastry chef? What did one oar say to the other? 2. Read more about what information we store and how we use it in our Privacy Policy. Knock Knock How did the phone propose to his girlfriend on Valentines Day? How do sheep share their feelings with each other? Make this Valentine's day more entertaining with a hint of humor and thrilling parties. Tonight, dinners on me. "Eyesore." "Eyesore, who?" ", "Why should you date a goalie?" Sometimes you dont get what you ordered. We fit together. Mike walked into a post office just before Valentine's day, he couldn't help noticing a middle-aged, balding man standing in a corner sticking "Love" stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. We be-long together. Unlike our Great Dane. A. Giraffodils! "Who's there?" What did one molecule say to the other? Looking for a craft to send to your sweetheart this Valentine's Day? Which one did you choose? Theyre so scent-imental. Valentine's day jokes and humor. These clean, kid-friendly Valentine's Day jokes are sure to be a hit with your kiddos and honestly, the best Valentine is their toothy, drool-y little mouths bursting into huge smiles at some corny puns. They said it was a date. A Valentine on ice. A: Because its got heart. What did the cucumber say to the pickle? Lovesick.. 22. Whale you be mine? What did one boat say to the other boat? Feb 14. I love you berry much!. "Pauline." Let me call you Tweet heart! Pooch I dont need a Valentine. Olive you. What do you call someone with a cold on Valentines Day? "Olive who?" From the outright dirty to the naughty - here are some jokes you can include in your cards to inject a bit of humour into your Valentine's Day. A: I lava you. I hope you'll wear them Friday night for me." What did the magnet say to the fridge? 55 Hilarious Valentine's Day Jokes to Share 1/55 1) What did the man with the broken leg tell his Valentine? A: You get buttered up. What do you call two birds who just got engaged? A calendar. Waiter: Do you have reservations? Whats the difference between a $20 steak and a $55 steak? Funny Valentine Jokes Fur who? A: Choco-late. And cringe. Butter together every day. It doesnt have your number in it. He never cracks a smile. What do you call a blossoming romance in a fish tank? Are you interested in a little row-mance? Want to send a. What did one calculator say to the other? Pooch your arms around me! Hogs and kisses. Q. A: You turn me on. What do you think it means?". Love is like peeing your pants everyone can see it but only you can feel it. 2023 Hearst Magazine Media, Inc. All Rights Reserved. ", What's the perfect thing to say to a coffee-lover on Valentine's Day? You're purrr-fect for me! "Who's there?" Indeed, it is one of the finest ways to celebrate Valentines Day. Roses are red. Did Adam and Eve ever have a date? 42. "Well, I don't know" she answers shyly. What did one prune say to the other after agreeing to grab dinner? First time i ever had two HOT GIRLS at the same time. My heart beats for you.. What did the calculator say to the pencil on Valentines Day? These cute and funny Valentine's Day sayings are sweeter than chocolate and guaranteed to make your loved ones (both kids and adults) LOL all day long. Because they just clicked. 34. .css-1n3gisz{color:#12837c;display:block;font-family:Mogan,Mogan-fallback,Georgia,Times,Serif;font-weight:normal;margin-bottom:0.625rem;margin-top:0;-webkit-text-decoration:none;text-decoration:none;}@media (any-hover: hover){.css-1n3gisz:hover{color:link-hover;}}@media(max-width: 48rem){.css-1n3gisz{font-size:1.25rem;line-height:1.1;}}@media(min-width: 40.625rem){.css-1n3gisz{font-size:1.25rem;line-height:1.1;}}@media(min-width: 48rem){.css-1n3gisz{font-size:1.375rem;line-height:1.1;}}@media(min-width: 64rem){.css-1n3gisz{font-size:2.00879rem;line-height:1.1;}}Creamy Panna Cotta Is an Easy and Elegant Dessert, How To Make Strawberry Shortcake Ice Cream Bars, Make a Mouthwatering Tomato and Burrata Salad, 50 All-Time Greatest Steak Dinner Recipes, We Found the Top Same-Day Flower Delivery Services, The Best Flower Delivery Services for Any Occasion, See Alex and Paige's Sweet Valentine's Day Pics, See Why Kevin Bacon and Kyra Sedgwick Are Too Cute, Say 'I Do' to These Memorable Wedding Movies, The Most Popular Valentine's Day Candy by State, Write These Cute Valentine's Day Wishes in a Card, We Love These Valentine's Day Instagram Captions. Visit the Old Town and WWII sites of Nuremberg, explore the medieval town of Bamberg, tour the Dachau Concentration Camp Memorial Site, then end . Printable Valentine's Day Jokes If you like to do a joke a day with your family, download our printable Valentine's Day jokes below! Which flowers do squirrels give each other on Valentines Day? What did the volcano say to the other? The jeweller inquired, "Would you like your girlfriend's name engraved on it?" Cheeky jokes and poems for Valentine's Day . Owl who? ", "What do you call sweets that can keep a beat?" it broke my heart - See 44 traveler reviews, 70 candid photos, and great deals for Feucht, Germany, at Tripadvisor. 8 planets, 204 countries, 809 islands, 7 seas, 6,000,000,000+ people AND I AM STILL SINGLE. Its the best way to say brie mine, Valentine. ", "Why did the husband get his wife a kitten for Valentine's Day?" Were a perfect match. I dont have a mansion like Russell. What do you call an alien's Valentine? What one cantaloupe say to the other? "Olive you! He gave her a jingle. He gave her a ring. What do you say about two fish getting married? Man on a Valentines date: Yes Im worried its going to be expensive. What did the pickle say to the other on Valentines Day? You light up my life. Want to send a witty card or ask out your crush with a clever message? '", "You came home early from your date," John observed to his roommate. 55 Valentine's Day Jokes For Kids A courtship. 30. I was wondering why my feet got cold. Best Valentines day jokes ever - Unijokes.com A. "Who's there?" What did the paper clip say to the magnet? Emma "Olive." Q. Anita tell you that I love you. ", "What do you call two birds in love?" I love you to the moon and back. What did one banana say to the other? Why did the calendar break up with February? Who's there? Express your love towards your sweet sister through heartfelt quotes and wishes. A Valentine's Day jokes list wouldn't be complete without a few more mature one-liners, though, so be sure to keep those funny Valentine's Day quotes in mind for your own purposes.

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